I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
