Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
