Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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