haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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