We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
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constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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