my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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