She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
