I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
