She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
