I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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