When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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