Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
