Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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