Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
