For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
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Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My feet surprised me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize