Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
