It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize