that's an acceptable place to lick
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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