i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
