i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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