I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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