So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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