She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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