ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
