My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm always down for nudity.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
