well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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