Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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(970): View more from Colorado

Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.

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(817): View more from Texas

I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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(480): View more from Arizona

YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

(602): View more from Arizona

I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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(818): View more from California

Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.

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(928): View more from Arizona

He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.

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(813): View more from Florida

I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex

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