nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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