Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
