That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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