apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
