I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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