And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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