We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
