Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
