she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We left the knife in your bed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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