Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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