its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
