Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
