god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
