you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
