I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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