it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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