you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
