Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
