3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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