i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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