Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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