I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
