Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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