I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
did i just pee glitter
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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