There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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