it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Green mimosas i think yes
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
