I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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