Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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