It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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