we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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