My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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