you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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