im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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