If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
