I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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