Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
