I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
