Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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